I have learning issues and trying to find my way around wordpress is a complete nightmare. I have anxiety just trying to copy and paste. The truth is, I am a lousy typist. It takes me forever….so my initial reaction when I get frustrated is to give up. When I try to get help from my kids they are so frustrated they just do it for me so I never learn. I can joke that I am technically challenged, but I feel very self conscious about it.
I talk a good game, though. “Why, yes! I have a blog. I am blogging. I am a blogger. I just blog , blog, blog!”
I have a lot to say and Ruth is remarkably patient (she’s had practice).
Trying to look like I knew what I was doing in elementary school was also a challenge. I thought I wasn’t stupid, but, by school standards apparently I was. I couldn’t figure out why everyone else knew what was going on. I could read words, but, I couldn’t make sense of them. It felt as though I had a perpetual cloud over my head……and let’s face it school can be f*#king boring, so, daydreaming became a full time sport…….since I wasn’t catching on in the classroom, at least, I could enjoy a movie in my head.
In first grade my teacher asked me if I couldn’t read because the boys next to me were too distracting and I said “oh yes!” A first lie of many……funny how a seat change didn’t bring Dick, Jane and Sally more to life…..didn’t they have a dog? I can remember the pictures……that’s something anyway…..
In second grade my teacher made summer school sound like the lottery…..as if I was chosen. I do sort of remember liking it because I really liked my teacher. Unfortunately it bit me in the ass when I repeated 4th grade and that same teacher taught at the new school I went to (my parents switched me into a new school so no one would know I was…….ummmm challenged) But, she taught a different grade…..so I thought if I kept my head down maybe she wouldn’t notice me.
But she did notice me and word leaked out it was from “summer school.” Rumors flew! Other children asked me if I was stupid. What I didn’t know was that I was about to have a life changing year….yes, in 4th grade……
My teacher, Miss Kohler, 24 years old…..took me aside and whispered in my ear, “I think you are so smart.” You cannot imagine the power in those words.